Your steel eyelashes latch onto my heart,
Blood rimmed eyes peering way too close into this pain of my mine.
Naked, exposed in the most intimate of ways
Against my will, my soul is bared.
You glare into the cracks. Eyeing every hurt, every stab, every death which has created me.
Gazing into my monstrous essence.
Deep, deep...
Deep into my hideousness.
You witness the scars,
The only memories left behind after the most complete abandonments.
Your vision penetrates my very core.
Inside the blackness,
You can see a little too clearly for my liking,
But yet you invade.
You penetrate with no end in sight.
Your glare fucks my spirit,
Entering me with reckless abandon and calculated assault
Raping my secrets, abusing my hidden truths,
You destroy my hymen of privacy.
Then you see them:
The insecurities.
The array of sensitivities, the doubt, the self hate;
The murdered confidence.
Your eyes grow wider, daring not miss a single detail.
Learning me.
I might be able to fight you away.
But my loneliness is a poison,
Cripplingly complete,
It paralyzes me and I let it
I no longer have a fight left in me, I am strength-less.
A conflict of hate for your eye's occupation and a need for even a tiny glimpse of attention.
You manipulated me into a motionless victim,
Full of fear, dread and apprehensive hope.
Might you be the one who will not look away in repulsion?
The one who will nod with acceptance and finally love me?
I shudder in terror,
My horror a stimulant, dilating your pupils,
Absorbing more,
Observing my weakness.
Your irises colonizing my vulnerability.
I wait,
Wait for your embracing tears to cleanse the pain away,
Baptize my sin into salvation…
Eternal seconds: tantalizing, enticing, disgracing.
A mess of longing ,yearning....I linger.
Yet you persevere, unmoved
As I shiver.
My soul's disrobing so appealing to you,
I wait.
Against my will, my soul is bared.
Naked, exposed in the most intimate of ways.
Blood rimmed eyes peering way to close into this pain of mine
Your steel eyelashes unlatch from my heart
…And in sinisterness, you laugh.