Your trembling hands ripped through me and destroyed what it was that made me good.
Trembling not in fear, but in cold calculated anticipation.
How easy it was for you to carelessly fling my essence aside, and I,
I just stood there with a smile teasing my lips
And pain fluttering through my eyes.
Infatuation.
I worshiped you.
My love a mosque,
A church of loyalty in the synagogue of trust.
I was beautiful once.
I shone with a sparkling brilliance,
A flame your love failed to help me maintain.
How dare you look at me!?
You are the reason I am so hideous,
Despise tainted my purity because of the iciness of your touch.
Constant judging,
Daily brushes with contempt.
Is it a surprise that this I have become?
It is too late to turn towards me now.
Absolutely devastated.
There is no longer enough of me left to rejoice over your homecoming.
So slither back to your Holy throne and do what it is you do best.
Look down at me as I lay shamed and shaking on the floor.
I hate you.
No.
My words betray me,
I hate how you make me feel.
You triggered disintegration at the same moment you seduced me with your empty eyes.
"They are glass."
I thought I could see right through you,
But I was fooled,
They were merely cheap mirrors,
What I saw in them was not me as your heart's desire;
But a reflection of my naïve smile.
I feel like screaming,
A cry that would pierce the darkness of the oceans' depths.
Yet you remain deaf.
What a frustrated illness it is that is tearing me into oblivion.
My blood boils with hate,
But not towards you.
My heart cannot seem to surrender its fondness for you.
How is it that I can still wish to feel your murderous hands caress me?
To taste my victimized blood off of your lips?
I reek of the inexplainable.
You, the God of my devotion;
As I raise my hands up to you;
Accept my prayer.
Kill me with your merciful wrath.
I cannot live another day attached to your indifference.
But my heart lacks the courage to let you go.
End my life,
End my love
End this torture.