Despondency

On my knees,

Wretched, drenched in the filth of humankind.

I scream to you “Please!”

Deliver me of this, with pain I’m too entwined.

My feet sore, disfigured

From this journey I did not choose,

My soul formed and configured

That in battle inevitably I lose.

 

I beg of you, release me.

Allow me to feel the silence of you,

The holy hollow that will always be

What I long to disappear into.

The peace and quiet of my origin

The darkness that shines with light

A void that is void of sin,

Where a broken man can find his might.

 

My desire to depart is consuming me,

I ache, my Lord, with fatigue

If I remain I can never be free

From the pull of the Devil’s league.

Temptation remains my adversity

Against light it will always prevail  

In my heart abundant with enormity

The knowledge that against it I’ll fail

 

I writhe in anguish, my Lord, in misery

I ask of you to let me perish.

These crushing breaths laced with agony

Fail to provide what I crave to nourish.

I bathe in waves of despondency

Why allow my soul such suffering?

I have turned to you, yet I fail to see,

My vision cracked, raped and faltering.

 

Thus, simply, I plead of you

To help me shut my tired eyes

I cannot face what I’ve turned into

Painted in veils of foreboding dyes

This battle has now overpowered me

A spear in the heart of my resolution

Decaying blood, lack of purity

Demeaned to spiritual prostitution

 

On my knees,

Wretched, drenched in the filth of humankind.

I whisper to you “Please!”

Redeem me of this, with pain I’m too entwined.

My hands sore, disfigured

From this story I wish not to write

My spirit formed and configured

To sorrow until it is out of sight.