Nothing is sacred anymore
Menstruation on what was holy
Destructive game of kiss and tell
You defecated on my heart
Over and over again
Till I drowned in my sentiment of searing regret
Of time lost and exploding agony.
A simple question,
Paralyzing my head…..
How could you compromise what was once an essence of lives?
You weren't stolen from me
Like you do, you walked away,
Willingly, itching to give up on me,
While I remain grasping at transparent threads that I can barely recognize.
Fingers on your sheathed skin, grasping, exploring
A trespass on my haunted properties.
Refugee in your heart I have become,
Home once is now a devastated land.
The only standing sanctuary he is God of.
I will not bow down
I won't prostrate at his intruding feet.
Not because of pride,
The land is screaming "O watch and behold the fall of man"
I the man;
The man with an evanescing identity
Pathetic till the very core, I the man.
I would surrender to him to reach to you,
But I know as soon as my forehead touches the ground.
You will step on me, the pedestal that gets you closer to him.
And that….
That my Agony is what I cannot live with.
Oh, Oh how despondent I have become.
Oh how easy it is to betray,
In this world of sordid realities.
I hear the lullaby of welcome death brush tantalizingly against my ear
I will not fight, I will limply embrace,
I will walk away in memory of you.
You, the cannibal
I the man.
When eternals die
I know you're sorry,
But I can't deny,
The pain you caused…..
A comforting lie
I was soaring once:
A joyful high.
Crashing Down
With a betrayed cry.
You broke my wings.
I cannot fly!
You gaze into me
Beautifully sly
You shattered trust
And where was I?
Nearing farewell,
Ignorant goodbye.
Sworn loyalty
Till rain turns dry.
The day has come
When eternals die…
23
Nicotine saturates my lungs,
Lovingly filling voids that needed to be filled.
Smoke hazing my eyes,
Shielding the pain of truth.
Raspy inhalations of life light chimneys in my soul.
And whilst the breeze seduces my aching temples
Chiffon curtains separate me from my destruction.
Toes fidgeting in thin layers of dirt.
My fingertips drumming ashes away,
I wish I had the power to cleanse my mind of this contagious disease.
Glimpses from others make me question myself
Furthermore ravaging insanity in my cells.
Twenty three stories away from the ground
Twenty three stories away from the reality which one day I will crash into.
The spike that will tear my moaning heart out through my back,
Breaking every foundation a skeleton provides.
Scars on my arms,
The calling of drying wounds.
The luring of physical pain.
Pressure makes my ears bleed,
Let me be, let me breathe.
Failed oxygen masks laughing at the darkest of ironies.
Mocking with their crazed eyes,
Laughing with their annulled voices.
A Nile of tears entrapped in my chest,
Heaving, gasping.
Horrendous reflection of a lost man,
Of what now has become me.
Twenty three stories away from the truth
Twenty three stories away from the cancerous pain that will dissemble me.
Ripping through me like a tidal wave
A nuclear explosion erasing I.
Twenty three stories away from the day.
Twenty three stories closer I remain.
I died once
I died once.
Poof.
I ceased to exist.
It didn't hurt.
I didn't cry.
That's all I can remember.
I was satisfied.
Dying queen
Distant whispers invade what's serene,
In the sanctuary of the hollow light.
Fading moans from the dying queen,
Turn the village fool into a knight.
Forbidden craving
Goodbye, don’t cry,
I have to leave and you know why.
It’s not fair, but it’s right
You want to stop me, but don’t try.
I waited for a lifetime to taste your lips,
And when I finally found you
I stole that kiss.
Guilty desire is what I felt,
But one smile from you
And my resolve melts.
I’m not ready to be the biggest mistake of your life,
I’m not ready to see your face when you realize.
That our love was not, it wasn’t meant to survive
And that you need saving;
because I'm your forbidden craving
How can it feel so right,
Yet be so wrong?
Alone through the nights,
Sorrow's solo song.
I must remain,
By myself again.
But this time I cannot breathe,
Addicted to your whispers
I’m falling to my knees.
Hopeless prayers,
Aimless pleas.
Impossible passion
That won’t recede.
I know I cannot have you,
Fate’s painful tease.
Destiny! Destiny,
Aren’t you done playing tricks?
Thought I’d never find love,
Now I have a broken heart that I just can’t fix
Heartbreak
So this is what it feels like
When your heart breaks,
The slow painful death
With every breath, you take.
So this is what it feels like
When you're all alone.
When you're in a crowded room,
But everyone is gone.
So this is what it feels like
When you reach for light,
But you drown in the darkness
Of a cloudy night.
So this is what it feels like
When you feel so numb.
When you scream for her,
But she just won't come.
So this is what it feels like
When you reminisce,
When you wonder why and how
It ended like this.
So this is what it feels like
When you daydream all day,
When you ask yourself:
Will she come back today?
So this is what it feels like
When you hold onto
A memory that just won't go…
Away.
Forgotten lessons
Lessons taught. Lessons learned.
Life a maze; lost at every turn.
A hopeful song from a soul that yearned,
We learn to smile as our hearts burn.
We learn to wrong and then regret,
As painful memories blaze alive.
We were never taught how to forget;
Blindly we suffer as we strive.
We’re taught to caution when we trust,
Of strangers we should always be afraid!
Never were we told of the false crust
Of the loved one who painfully betrayed.
We learn to wish, we learn to pray,
Kneeling down as we wait.
We believe we will be spared dismay;
But how do we cope if it’s too late?
We’re taught to feel, we learn to love
As emotions rage with the breaths we take.
Content we soared like a flying dove,
But confusion’s the soulmate of heartbreak.
We learn to discover as we grow,
While fate throws us left and right.
Unprepared, you assume we know,
The path is a scarring endless fight.
We are told right from wrong,
Our instincts we’re taught to follow.
Hypocrites, we don’t know where we belong
In a society that condemns us with sorrow.
We’re taught to survive through the screams
Urged to laugh even as we cry
Life a series of unbearable dreams,
No one ever answered the question: “Why?”