The oxymoron

In the sizzling snow,

With harsh sensuality,

The quiet winds blow

In soft brutality.

In the ice-laced heat

Like sinful morality,

The sunrays meet

With religious sexuality.

In the scalding shade,

With dreamy reality,

Angels' wings fade

With healing fatality.

In the sandy rain

With casual formality

The lost souls gain

A sober insanity

In the lucid fog,

With bashful vanity,

Amidst fragrant smog,

I scream holy profanity.

The death of all that is sacred

Nothing is sacred anymore
Menstruation on what was holy
Destructive game of kiss and tell
You defecated on my heart
Over and over again
Till I drowned in my sentiment of searing regret
Of time lost and exploding agony.
A simple question,
Paralyzing my head…..
How could you compromise what was once an essence of lives?
You weren't stolen from me
Like you do, you walked away,
Willingly, itching to give up on me,
While I remain grasping at transparent threads that I can barely recognize.
Fingers on your sheathed skin, grasping, exploring
A trespass on my haunted properties.
Refugee in your heart I have become,
Home once is now a devastated land.
The only standing sanctuary he is God of.
I will not bow down
I won't prostrate at his intruding feet.
Not because of pride,
The land is screaming "O watch and behold the fall of man"
I the man;
The man with an evanescing identity
Pathetic till the very core, I the man.
I would surrender to him to reach to you,
But I know as soon as my forehead touches the ground.
You will step on me, the pedestal that gets you closer to him.
And that….
That my Agony is what I cannot live with.
Oh, Oh how despondent I have become.
Oh how easy it is to betray,
In this world of sordid realities.
I hear the lullaby of welcome death brush tantalizingly against my ear
I will not fight, I will limply embrace,
I will walk away in memory of you.
You, the cannibal
I the man.

When eternals die

I know you're sorry,

But I can't deny,

The pain you caused…..

A comforting lie

I was soaring once:

A joyful high.

Crashing Down

With a betrayed cry.

You broke my wings.

I cannot fly!

You gaze into me

Beautifully sly

You shattered trust

And where was I?

Nearing farewell,

Ignorant goodbye.

Sworn loyalty

Till rain turns dry.

The day has come

When eternals die…

23

Nicotine saturates my lungs,

Lovingly filling voids that needed to be filled.

Smoke hazing my eyes,

Shielding the pain of truth.

Raspy inhalations of life light chimneys in my soul.

And whilst the breeze seduces my aching temples

Chiffon curtains separate me from my destruction.

Toes fidgeting in thin layers of dirt.

My fingertips drumming ashes away,

I wish I had the power to cleanse my mind of this contagious disease.

Glimpses from others make me question myself

Furthermore ravaging insanity in my cells.

Twenty three stories away from the ground

Twenty three stories away from the reality which one day I will crash into.

The spike that will tear my moaning heart out through my back,

Breaking every foundation a skeleton provides.

Scars on my arms,

The calling of drying wounds.

The luring of physical pain.

Pressure makes my ears bleed,

Let me be, let me breathe.

Failed oxygen masks laughing at the darkest of ironies.

Mocking with their crazed eyes,

Laughing with their annulled voices. 

A Nile of tears entrapped in my chest,

Heaving, gasping.

Horrendous reflection of a lost man,

Of what now has become me.

Twenty three stories away from the truth

Twenty three stories away from the cancerous pain that will dissemble me.

Ripping through me like a tidal wave

A nuclear explosion erasing I.

Twenty three stories away from the day.

Twenty three stories closer I remain.

Forbidden craving

Goodbye, don’t cry,

I have to leave and you know why.

It’s not fair, but it’s right

You want to stop me, but don’t try.

 

I waited for a lifetime to taste your lips,

And when I finally found you

I stole that kiss.

Guilty desire is what I felt,

But one smile from you

And my resolve melts.

 

I’m not ready to be the biggest mistake of your life,

I’m not ready to see your face when you realize.

That our love was not, it wasn’t meant to survive

And that you need saving;

because I'm your forbidden craving

 

How can it feel so right,

Yet be so wrong?

Alone through the nights,

Sorrow's solo song.

I must remain,

By myself again.

But this time I cannot breathe,

Addicted to your whispers

I’m falling to my knees.

Hopeless prayers,

Aimless pleas.

Impossible passion

That won’t recede. 

I know I cannot have you,

Fate’s painful tease.

 

Destiny! Destiny,

Aren’t you done playing tricks?

Thought I’d never find love,

Now I have a broken heart that I just can’t fix